Welcome back guys to another review, you are probably wondering about the title of this one, but we will get into that shortly after I quickly update you on what has been going on. This week, I have announced a brand-new graphic design for the firebeard reviews logo. It is literally a dream design brought to life by the owner of Vikingsmane. If you missed my last review for these guys, check it out right here.

This review is my last ever review ……. until September haha did I get you ? I am taking a break, so I do not burn the candle at both ends, work life, home life, mental health, review life it is all a delicate circle that needs balance. I just hope I do not forget how to use the tools on my website whilst I am away, I really do not want to nag Tony from Done4Uonline 

However, be vigilant a massive blog on beard clubs will be coming to my website, now I will say it at the beginning of that blog, but I will say it here too. These will be MY opinions based on MY experience, this blog is in no way involved with anyone or anything I am associated with. It is time the bearded community hears the truth no matter how hurtful it is going to be to myself or beard clubs, this is something I want to get off my chest. Let’s move on!


Here we go again, my 2nd review for Mark and Papatweed’s he takes such pride and passion in every detail of his work. His personal life has been on fire lately I don’t mean a train wreck I mean this guy is pumping out hours with work, fitness, music, Papatweed’s and home life he is a fucking machine and with no signs of stopping any time soon. Papatweed’s is somewhat of a wild card beard care company in the community in the sense that you either know of him or you don’t, but it is a shame really when his company is more than just beard care. You have beard oil, balm, butter and wash, patches, candles, glass skull candles, wax melts that are shaped like skulls, reed diffusers, T-shirts, hoodies, massage oil, tattoo butter and skull gummy sweets. That last one was a big WOW to me like fuck me on my next order is he going to throw a box of them in for me (hint hint). This is more than a beard company it is a man’s health company with products for your Mrs too, they even soy wax candles but the cruelty-free and vegan friendly look of Papatweed’s is super important to Mark, which is a good thing I don’t want to put anything that has been used on animals in my beard or on my skin and I certainly do not want to put that American blend of Emu and Ostrich oil shite in my fucking beard either, dead animal fat ? fuck off, you cunts. (shit, is this my inner Tony coming out)

This review we are diving deep into the sea to uncover the treasure of Old salts and Scally’s aboard the sunken wreckage of Urca De Lima, quick history lesson for you here Urca De Lima was the largest treasure gallion in the Spanish navy carrying most of the Spanish empire’s wealth from the Caribbean. It was any pirate’s dream to jump aboard that ship and grab all the bounty, and I am using this reference because I have found the perfect rum scent, this would be worthy of clashing swords with Charles Vane from the TV show Black Sails to get this fucking prize.

The appearance on the outside, the bottle that this gold nectar is contained in, is your standard 30ml brown glass, see through bottle with an almost black label with white styled and blocked writing on. The labels have been updated since I last reviewed them, and they have done an amazing job with them too, meeting every criteria that CPSR tell you to have on the labels all the way down to the batch number which most companies forget about. It has a pipette applicator with a spout end instead of a bulbous end which I can not stand do not ask me why I don’t know I just prefer the spout end haha I have noticed that the top of it no longer has a child safety lock feature like the old one did which by the way is my only complaint, but also the suction pump is smoother with regard to grip and not as rugged as the rest.

Mark has all of his products CPSR tested and certified and this is even before he lets me test them out for him, I am still waiting on a certain secret project I am hyped for from him, but I will forgive him because of his super busy lifestyle haha.

The Treasure Map

Now I am going to keep this one short because to be honest he’s nailed this on the head, the website is jet black with white writing and is the most simplistic website with regard to appearance, but why overcomplicate something. This simplicity gives you the easiest website to navigate, the home page gives you three options store, about us and blogs, posts and stories with one interactive banner with the title

“Killer self care for bad ass beards”

The product page is 4 pages long with professionally taken photos of his products and merchandise using cool landscapes or awesome models from himself, friends, consumers, girlfriend and even his kids.

To be honest that is all I’ve got to say about the website, it is nothing impressive, and I am not wanting it to be, I am the type of shopper that gets in, knows what he wants, gets it and then gets the fuck out and this website gives me that. BOOM!

The Gold

A very pale yellow, low end of medium viscosity it made my beard feel like a swaying palm tree leaves gently caressing my face lasting for about 10 hours roughly, there were a few strands of dryness, but my skin felt great and non-itchy it gave me a thorough conditioning. But so it should when it contains the following carrier oils :

  • Grapeseed oil
  • Fractionated Coconut oil
  • Almond oil
  • Sunflower oil
  • Argan oil
  • Jojoba oil
  • Vitamin E oil

Now I am not a fan of sunflower oil, it has it’s benefits don’t get me wrong, but it is a cheap carrier oil, and it does spoil quicker than the rest. Which is why I think the brand that shall not be named, their products went out of date so quickly and sometimes even before their time. But their ingredients listed sunflower oil at the top, meaning it was the main ingredient. Which is how ingredients listings should work, your main ingredient is the top of the list. But Mark has excelled his products since I first tried them, in all honesty the first scent I tried was apple and pine, and it didn’t last that long nor was it very strong.

Go to his store today, and he has a variety of carefully chosen scents that are strong and long-lasting with an updated carrier oil blend that delivers the punch your beard needs. Maybe it really is the man behind the company and how he blends that formula, which is why shitstruggle is so shit and Papatweed’s is up there with the best in the UK beard care market.

Old Salts & Scally’s

Here it is the full bounty in all its glory and how unperceivable glorious it is, you guys are going to love this blend of essential oils. I certainly couldn’t take my nose out of the bottle when Mark sent Jade and I some samples to try out and give him feedback on. We were both blown away with the wide eyes and the satisfying “mmmmmm” sounds you make. Out of the two he sent the one that contained more rum was the winner with the other containing more vanilla which to be honest, if you’re selling a rum scent with a pirate themed name you kinda want it to be mainly rum scent haha. Here are the essential oils that are blended in this fantastic beard oil :

  • Rum
  • Myrrh
  • Tonka
  • Vanilla
  • Oud

Now if I remember rightly, and I don’t want to blow my own trumpet here but the tonka being added in to this blend was my recommendation to Mark which again if I remember rightly blew him away, figuratively not physically my flame doesn’t bend that way. To my nose the rum and tonka are powerful with the vanilla and myrrh twirling around each other sitting subtly behind the rum and tonka. You really have to concentrate to notice the oud. This scent lasted for 4-5 hours which is the UK standard, but on a chill day when I’m not at work I get a good 6 hours of it where I am constantly folding my top lip up to my nostrils. I think this is a unique rum scent which you will not find anywhere else on the UK beard care market, at least. Odin knows what you would find on the American market, haha! Mark has had a vision and gave it life in the greatest way possible and if I was him I would be sending samples out of this to the big heads in the community because I think they would be just as impressed with it as I am. I don’t know about Marks’ Mrs, but mine constantly wants to eat my face off with this scent in my beard, so he is definitely doing something right, sadly though I have used every drop of this oil during this review and have no more left, and I am truly gutted about it, but it was well worth the 15-day review trial.


for £9.95 for 30ml, it is worth its weight in gold, hence the reason why I’ve named this review after the largest treasure gallion in Spanish naval fleet. It truly is a drug so addictive to smell and not put on again and again which for a few days I think I did do haha oooopppssss, guilty! Throw me over board, haha!

I would love to see some more merch from Papatweed’s in regard to mugs, bottles, wristbands and even socks. Cosmetic products he has down to a tee with some surprises in store for the future which honestly I can not wait for, and I will probably do an unscheduled review for it.

This oil and scent is definitely a rebuy and a highly recommend to everyone out there in the bearded community you will not regret it at all and whilst you are there at the store use code FIRE15 and get yourself gentleman old-fashioned beard butter as the disappointment is non-existent at all.

That is all for now my fellow flames I will see you in another review for hobo head UK in September and a blog on beard clubs very soon but in the meantime…..

Stay safe, Stay Bearded, Stay Fire!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *